I have a screening mammogram scheduled today, finally. Been putting this off for a long time. I’ve known for a while that I needed some baseline scans. Well okay, to be honest, weird I know, but I’ve worried for a long time that I would one day have breast cancer. Just one of those strange feelings. You know, like I have a sister who always thought she would die in a tornado. Just an unexplained, irrational fear. I have no family history of cancer, no real reason to think that I would have it. Just felt it may be in my future. Now I have some cysts or something, fibrous tissue, whatever.

I had no idea that scheduling it would affect me so strongly. I caught myself taking deep breaths, rubbing my face, etc., while looking at my calendar, insurance coverage, and credit card cycle. Maybe I was looking for another reason to put it off? It was just so easy to schedule it. So, I just went for it and put it for first thing in the morning. I was already needing to be in town, and the appointment slot was right there, taunting me! Click, and it was done!

So, here we go! I’ll be leaving at 7:30 this morning to stop by my mom’s first to drop off some things for her day trip to visit family in Brenham. I have to be at the hospital no later than 8:30 for paperwork, then mammo scheduled at 8:45. I got my morning routines done early…laundry and put it up, dishes unloaded, planner, now journaling. I’ll probably do my yoga and check on my news updates for a few minutes when I get back, before staring school with my youngest. PLUS my 13 year old and I start reintroduction phase of the FODMAP diet today! More on that later…

Hubby and I aren’t on the best terms at the moment so that’s adding another level. But…maybe I’m taking some of my…worry? stress? nervousness?…out on my family. Ugghhh. Moving on. Time to get myself ready…without deodorant, perfume, or lotion LOL!

On to the appointment…

I decide to do a commute meditation in the car on the way to town. I love my Balance app for that! It really helped take my mind off “the destination” and appreciate “the journey.”

When they say smock, they mean smock! Not even any armholes!!

Gotta love these lockers! I did NOT choose the Dolly Parton locker! HAHAHA. This actually lightened my mood a little, which I’m sure is the point.

The scan itself wasn’t painful, just really awkward. But the lady doing my scans made me as comfortable as possible and answered all my questions, taking time to be personable and thorough. So, I’ll hear back in about two days (today is Thursday, so I’m guessing Monday) whether I will need to come back for diagnostics, or will be considered clear until the next one. ONE THING CHECKED OFF MY GOALS!! GO ME!

What are YOU putting off? Check off a small goal (or a big one!) and tell me what you’re doing!

Update:

As expected, based on my history and things felt on exams, I am needing to go back for further diagnostics. I kept checking for my results from the screening but none were showing up.

Then, I received messages from my primary care clinic that I needed to “ReTurn Clinic to discuss mammogram.” Yes. Like that. *eye roll*

Anyway…I’ve always been a bit of a pain in the ass when it comes to healthcare decisions, bit of a control freak, and I don’t have problems expressing myself. In regards to healthcare anyway. So, I called the office and discussed with the receptionist my desire to skip coming in and just go straight to diagnostics. She said she would check in with my NP and call me back. I adore their office staff, but this happens to be their one flaw. They never call back when they intend to talk to him in between patients. So, I waited a bit…..

And decided to respond to the lovely message from the overseeing provider. (spoiler…he don’t know me…yet)

I very politely let him know that I preferred to skip the office visit to go directly to diagnostics. I let him know that it was what I had expected anyway, and that there is nothing to be done anyway until we have more information. I. just. need. the. diagnostics.

Order received.

A couple days later I finally received my actual “results” from the screening. Again, it was exactly what I expected in best case scenario.

On to the next step! I have an appointment for next month for diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound. The sweet lady who I spoke to in order to set it up agreed that it definitely should not be done on such a “national holiday” as my birthday, especially since it’s her birthday too!

I will be back to post again, hopefully with a positive update!! SO, here’s to great vibes and prayers for great things to come!